Written by Maren Hamilton |
No matter where you’re from, there’s one thing that’s for certain: food is life, both literally as physical sustenance and figuratively as a social occasion that brings us together. As a result of its 5000 years of history and culture, though, China might have taken this to the extreme, both in the variety of dishes available and the intricacies of Chinese dining customs and etiquette.
But don’t worry! There’s no such thing as a lack of knowledge, only an opportunity to learn. That’s why we prepared this guide to Chinese dining etiquette, covering each step from sitting down to finally paying the bill so you can show off your cultural knowledge on your next trip!
The Most Basic Chinese Dining Etiquette
If there’s only one thing you take away from this article, let it be this: it’s a social event, just like anywhere else. Be friendly and amicable, be generous and grateful, and of course, be respectful! Don’t spend the whole meal looking at your phone, don’t insult the food, and just generally be the best guest you can be. You might not get everything right, but a good attitude goes a long way, so don’t forget to at least try to be a good guest.
However, if you want to actually make an effort (and you really should!), the rest of this guide is for you.
Chinese Table Arrangement
In China, many tables you’ll eat at will be square or circular. This can be an interesting contrast between Chinese and Western dining etiquette, as Western tables usually seat people at the head of the table to reflect their status whereas Chinese tables reflect the country’s more collectivist values by keeping everyone on a similar level.
Don’t be mistaken, though! Just because everyone’s on equal footing doesn’t mean there isn’t hierarchy at play. You shouldn’t sit or eat before the guest of honour, and when giving toasts, you’re expected to follow the hierarchy as well. If there isn’t a guest of honour, then the same rules apply with the eldest person receiving the greatest respect, in accordance with Chinese Confucian values.
Things can get even more complicated when it comes to formal dining events… But don’t worry too much! Locals will help you figure out where to sit, and as long as you try to be respectful, they’ll be forgiving of your mistakes. As tricky as etiquette can be, Chinese people are both understanding of the cultural divide and happy to help you cross it!
Common Chinese Tableware
When you sit down for a Chinese meal, don’t expect to see a fork and knife unless you’re at a foreign restaurant. The most common utensils you’ll be given are a spoon for soup and other liquid foods and chopsticks for everything else.
Guidelines for Using Chopsticks in China
Of course, not everyone knows how to use chopsticks. If you want to try on your next visit, you can read all about how to use them and their history.
There are some rules if you do use chopsticks, though. Make sure not to suck on them, spear your food with them, or stick them upright in your rice – not only is it terrible Chinese dining etiquette, it can also be seen as a bad omen!
Still, if you aren’t comfortable using chopsticks yet or don’t want to risk accidentally offending someone, don’t worry about it. If you ask for a knife and fork, most restaurants will have some you can use.
Cleanliness Rituals: What to Expect Before You Eat
Beyond just your utensils, you’ll likely also be given a cup for drinks, a plate for your food, and a bowl for rice and/or soup. One thing that surprises many foreigners on their first trip to China is how some restaurants give them a plastic-wrapped dining set along with a bowl and hot water or tea. All you have to do is unwrap the dishes and then rinse them with the water or tea over the bowl – though you can always skip rinsing them.
How to Order (and Share!) Food in China
The only problem bigger than how to eat in China is what to eat in China. Fortunately, it’s easier than you might think! Most restaurants in China serve dishes to be shared with the whole table, playing them on a lazy Susan so everyone has a chance to test out every dish. That means that even if you don’t recognise all the dishes on the menu, you can always order something “safe” and then try out other, more adventurous dishes ordered by your tablemates.
That being said, don’t start spinning the table too fast! While dishes are made to be shared, you’re expected to take from the plates in front of you first, and reaching over the table is considered bad manners as well. Just be patient and wait for the food to come to you. When it does, resist the urge to take everything or go digging through the plate looking for the best bits! Make sure everyone has an opportunity to try everything, and if a dish runs out before you’ve had your fill, you can order some more.
Related reading: Top 10 Chinese Lunch Dishes
Eating, Drinking, and Paying
Behaviors to Avoid While Eating
Some good news for visitors to China: when it comes to eating, Chinese dining etiquette isn’t too different from anywhere else.
- Don’t spill your food everywhere.
- Don’t bump into other people.
- Don’t talk with your mouth full.
- Don’t cough over the food.
- Don’t stuff your mouth like you haven’t eaten in a week…
Hopefully you already knew those rules, but if you didn’t, at least you know them now!
How to Eat Bony Dishes in China
Still, there are some differences between Western and Chinese table manners, most notably how you deal with bones in your food. Many foreigners are surprised to learn how much the Chinese love to kěn (啃) – that is, to gnaw! That means that there are a lot more bones in the food than you might be used to. Be careful not to bite down too hard, and when you do get a bone, just use your hand or your chopsticks to take it out and place it on your plate or on a piece of tissue!
Drinking Etiquette
Also, especially at formal events, there’s an expectation to drink during toasts. The Chinese equivalent of “cheers” literally means “dry glass”, after all! Don’t worry if you don’t drink, though. Unless you’re trying to build trust with business partners, you can normally just let your host know and replace your drink with something non-alcoholic. As mentioned above, Chinese people are very understanding.
Paying Bill
And of course, once the festivities are over, there’s one thing left to do: pay the bill. While there’s an eternal struggle between the generous host and the grateful guest in the West, things are fortunately a lot simpler in China. You’re still expected to fight over the bill at least a little bit, but the final responsibility always falls to the host. Don’t think you can win them over by being extra kind and paying either, since it can be seen as a sign that you think they can’t afford it – another huge faux pas.
Related reading: Chinese Food Culture: A Comprehensive Guide to Culinary History, Traditions & Regional Flavors
Experience Chinese Food Culture with Us!
So there you have it, everything you need to know about Chinese table manners before your next trip to China. Of course, knowing proper Chinese dining etiquette is only half the battle – you also have to know where to go to get all the best food. Luckily, there’s an even easier solution for that: joining us on one of our food tours of China! Whether you want to go to Xi’an, Hong Kong, or even see the whole country, we’ve got you covered. Not only will you have a local with you to introduce you to all the best delicacies China has to offer, you’ll also have somebody there to remind you to mind your manners. So what are you waiting for? Book yours today! Below are some recommended food itineraries for your reference, and you can also contact us to customize your personal trip.
